Interpersonal diversity is a challenge for our brains: as they are always trying to predict, our brains love similarities. Around people with different views, priorities or values we get an uncomfortable feeling by our autonomous nervous system, which then gets escalated by our thinking and develops into frustration. And when uncomfortable or frustrated, we tend to judge; judgements are a natural tendency and a universal habit difficult to refrain from. Moreover, when our judgements are “global” instead of “partial”, they upset us even more.

In order to experience less interpersonal frustrations, learn to engage your thinking brain during difficult interactions; here are 3 relevant tips: (1) Employ your curiosity to tolerate your brain’s disliking: could there be another narrative to the story besides yours? (2) Stick to judging “parts”, i.e., opinions, behaviors, characteristics, without judging globally the individuals who possess them. (3) Respond only after you have seen things from the other person’s angle, as well as from your own.