When we experience a conflict, our brain perceives it as a threat and prepares us for “fight or flight”, attack or withdrawal, but none of these responses is helpful. The most useful reaction is to tolerate the distress with self-composure and exercise as much influence as possible. As said by M. Lucado, “Conflicts are inevitable, but combats are optional”.

Here are 5 tips for managing conflicts and difficult discussions: (1) Take a breath and think: if you “lose it” you will not get the desired result, (2) Do not take it personally; what’s said and done is about the owner of the behavior, (3) Your kindness may give you the lead; stick to it, (4) Pick your battles: focus on what is non-negotiable and ignore provocations, (5) Emphasize common ground & highlight how your perspective supports it. Active listening and assertiveness are key skills. Remember, if you can synthesize you may avoid compromise.